POOR BRITNEY. I just read some celebrity gossip that Britney Spears has been seen, stalked, and photographed smoking CIGARETTES. Heaven forbid. Britney?!?!? The teen idol? The pop-princess? Dear Gawd, how could she? What was she thinking?

No, this is bad. This is the beginning of an uncontrollable nicotine craze that will be no less influential than the catholic school girl uniform that was all the rage amongst hot ladies, both young and old! Not only will young, impressionable kids everywhere be scantily clad but soon Phillip Morris will be everywhere: On the radio, on the tabloids, on MTV...

Please Britney! Don't light up again, if not for yourself but for the children!

Britney Spears, whether in the universal spotlight or not, has every right to do exactly what she wants to do. That means if she wants to wear virtually nothing on stage, she can do it. If she wants to walk out on the street without a lick of make up, that is her business. And if she wants to pick up a poisonous, albeit highly gratifying habit such as smoking cigarettes, she has the same fundamental right as anyone else to do as she pleases. Whether she is a role model for young girls or not, it's the individual statement that she intends to make that counts, and not the anti-smoking campaign that has somehow invaded every household in the United States.

Let's take a step back. Since when did a little smoke inhaled-exhaled between sips of coffee make pop's most beloved star a person who makes excessively bad choices? I'm sure Britney will stay the same person who she is and has always been regardless of an after-meal puff, unless of course the media doesn't back off and stop making her feel like a horrible person.

Many people will say that she asked to be in the limelight, and that she should accept the responsibilities. That is true, but when it comes to gratifying yourself or feeling responsible for the welfare of all the world's youth, I have to side with being realistic and making my own self happy. Growing up is not easy, and oftentimes coming into adulthood is like a metamorphosis upon which the final product is naturally distinct from its latter form. And let's face it. She was young when she became the princess of America. Nowadays, she's not that innocent and certainly has her own life to worry about...

Instead of placing blame on this one person for the ails of society, let's blame MTV for making Britney such a ridiculously huge icon. Let's blame Pepsi for plastering her image over every cosmopolitan city. Let's blame AOL Time Warner for trying to take a young woman and matching her up against impossibly high standards. And let's try not to make a scapegoat out of one woman.

WOW WOW WOW.

I'm guessing everyone out there had a "most-anticipated-movie-of-the-summer," correct? This summer's box-office flicks were, as usual, all about the sequels. For the fans who like to think outside the box and fall down the rabbit hole, there was Matrix: Reloaded. For the fans who relish futuristic robot warriors who somehow develop a knack for human emotion, T3 was the movie of choice. For the fans who can't get enough of bad girls, hot rods and sexy bods, there was no denying that Charlie's Angels II would certainly fit the bill. And for those fans who felt like watching a male version of Charlie's Angels featuring two funny-men, there will be Bad Boys.

Indeed it would seem that this summer there is a movie out for every sort of fan there is. We all have our hopes and expectations for a movie that will live up to its reputation, whisk us away to a more exciting place and away from the doldrums of our everyday existence. Unfortunately many of this summer's sequels could not provide the jolt that was needed to help us break away from the humdrum cycle. Simply put, most of these sequels were unable to match up against the originality of their predecessors, or to capture what was so unique with the original. A sequel cannot be rated on its own merit, but must always be compared and squared against its older sibling. Well then...

Is it tired? Is it hopeless? Will there be no reprieve in the theatres this summer?!?!
I shall let you in on a little secret:

There is one movie this summer, the likes which I have seen that is a sequel, but it does not stem from a movie image ye have seen before. It is borne from yer own childhood memories of a boat, dark caves, cannons and 21 Jump Street. It is so purely original, so wildly entertaining, and so beautifully cast that it cannot be helped to mention in order to keep us other fans abreast on the movie scene.

Are ye a fan of that there swagger?
Smeared eyeliner?
A deep-fried brain?
Or elven ears perhaps?
Gather your affects, commandeer the nearest ship
Ye'll be having it all when ye learn the Curse of the Black Pearl.

In the new movie Pirates of the Caribbean, Disney has somehow managed to take the greatest sex-symbol of our wayward generation and turn him into the cunning and lovable pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow. This is an unexpectedly clean role played by Hollywood's hottest bad boy Johnny Depp; as surprising as the marriage between the actor and the enterprise to create a film tightly based on Disneyland's unforgettable ride.

For those of us who know Depp better playing an opium-addicted profiler in his latest release From Hell, or a psychedlic monstrosity from his leading role in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Depp rings loud and true as a scab of the seven seas, a no-good, lawless but lucky pirate.

Depp's sex appeal and bad-boy image are not lost but rather enhanced by Disney moviemaking, leaving the extent of Depps mysterious ways to the wileys of the human mind and an insatiable female fan base. Women and girls the world over will be heaving in their bosoms while watching this film.

Of course, Johnny Depp is not the only actor to go see this film for. Orlando Bloom, better known as Legolas from the LOTR trilogy, is looking his best as the lead character Will Turner the blacksmith in Pirates. Keira Knightly is also a big incentive for guys to watch the movie, what with her porcelain skin, killer body and measure of spunk on top of that. And there's Geoffrey Rush for all the grannies...

As classic as the idea of pirates is, it is a fresh and new genre for today's generation who's only idea of piracy stems from the internet, the cartoon Treasure Planet and of course, the ride. It is endearing to see such a massive creative project sympathizing with lawlessness, plunder, and freedom all at once.

Oh, and when the credits roll, there's a surprise at the end so don't abandon ship, savvy?