My head utterly spins when I try to devise a plan to get Amelie to sleep on her own. Nobody ever told me this before I had a child, but it seems that many children do not know how to sleep on their own. I've read that it's something that is learned naturally, like walking, but not a skill that people are born with.
A lot of people, especially men, tell me to simply leave her in her crib and let her cry it out. It makes perfect sense, and there is quite a bit of literature supporting this method of "sleep training." Doing it is not quite as easy as it sounds. First of all, there is no way you can ignore a crying baby, not your own or anyone else's. There is a trigger in our brains that tell a mother to come running when their baby is crying. That's why this method is often called the hardest, but perhaps the most effective because sleep problems will melt away in less time and therefore produce less crying in the long run. This method also claims that babies will get better sleep, and therefore will be more refreshed and ready to learn when they're awake.
An opposing theory advocates that babies are new to this world and need to be nurtured and held nearly as often as they would like. This is called "attachment parenting" and is probably most in line with what I've been employing as a mother. I carry Amelie all the time, I sleep with the little darling by my side and I pretty much do whatever I can to soothe the little monster. I love it most of the time, but you can imagine how tiring it is to carry my fat little baby around, especially when I need to do things around the house (like eat and shower and my laundry). I have no problems putting her to bed at night, but during the day she is forever fussing and dropping off to sleep in my arms, only to wake up again at her displeasure. I feel that for all the hard work I'm putting in, she's hardly a happy little baby and not getting a really full rest.
Finally, there's a middle of the road approach that requires you to pick up your baby and soothe them when they are crying, but by all means to put them down when they have stopped and to make sure they are sleeping independently at a young age. Truthfully this is the hardest and probably requires the most patience. It's hard on many levels - it really makes you assess what it is you're doing that is reinforcing the baby's undesirable behavior and to own up to teaching the baby her bad habits. In addition, picking up a baby over a hundred times in the course of a night to teach it how to sleep on its own sounds hard and pretty ridiculous. I would just as soon let the baby sleep soundly by my side, and I do. But if I don't do it this way, which is to say sensitively and consistently, and garner all my patience, then I only have myself to blame.
Can you see why my head is spinning?
I'm telling you, parenting is a lot more complicated than just feeding, playing and changing diapers. 80% of my brain is perpetually contemplating just how I will put Amelie to sleep next. Good God, I'm tired and I need a massage. There's a horrible knot in my left shoulder that I'm sure will take several trips to a masseuse to knead out of me.
