I don't know if my getting up there in court had as much to do with heart as believing deep down that I was right. But I'll be the first to admit, it is simply a belief and I don't think I'll ever really know exactly who went medieval on my car that night while I slept so soundly.

You know, I can't say she's very smart but I don't hate this Faye lady. (I do hate the fact that I've had to see her ass in court several times, and that she used what I told her in confidence while I was vulnerable against me in my own case. I guess you can't trust anyone, even people you feel sorry for.) I look at her and I see the path I could have gone down, and I simply shudder to think. But then I look at the path I've taken, the path I've been on and again, I shudder.

What does it require to stand at a bench in front of a dozen perfect strangers and relate the first in a long line of sad stories that have changed your life forever? Is it heart? Then yes, I believe I have more heart than Faye... but it cannot be measured in anything as mundane as teaspoons, racquet strokes, fifth sets of tennis much less 5.5 tie-breakers; nor can it be compared with legal victory.

What do you know of heart, SS? Mine comes from being able to see more beauty in a single sunset than you may know in an entire lifetime.

Has Blogger become more dumbed down or is it just me?

I swear I'm not lying but a stork had been visiting my home for the last two weeks on an almost daily basis. It would swoop into my backyard whenever I was home alone, pick off a few goldfish, and fly away again. Now I'm just a little superstitious, so I tried to tie the signs together. We all know what storks bring: babies! which is eerily coincidental, since I'm heavy with child plus I've never seen a stork in my yard ever before. Fish represent good fortune and they were being devoured two at a time by this giant white bird. My mind conjured a bad omen - this baby brings tidings of financial ruin to my family!

Stupid, huh?

I DREAM OF RETINAL DETACHMENT

Last night I dreamt that my right eye’s retina became detached. I saw the flashes and everything! Colorful, bright and bursting like the Fourth of July. I took my eyeball to the nearest optometrist I could find, and he informed me that it might be better if I take my eyeball to someone who knew what they were doing. My poor eyeball.

This is not the first time that I’ve dreamt of retinal detachment. A couple of weeks ago I woke up in horror as I recalled from my dreams a black, buggy parasite burrowing deeper into the vitreous of my eyeball. Floaters are associated with retinal detachment. Until then, I had only recognized the disgusting creature as a harmless, opaque floater.

Since then, I can’t help but experience a chill down my spine whenever a particularly large and ghostly floater glides across my field of view. If I dream of retinal detachment, does that mean that it’s more likely to occur? I can pinpoint the exact floater that’s scaring me, too.

A little voice in the back of my head is nagging me to get a dilated fundus exam at school, but another voice is telling me that I’m simply suffering from the stress and paranoia of being an optometry student. I think I heard somewhere that med students become the same way, self diagnosing themselves with far fetched diseases and syndromes in their otherwise healthy body. Then again, maybe my body is trying to tell me something and that’s why I’m dreaming of retinal detachment! Or could it be that retinal detachment is a twisted metaphor for the more deep-seated problems in my life? But why retinal detachment? And why now?

Signs that you may suffer from RD:
-Bright and unexplainable flashes of light
-Sudden onset of a shower of floaters.
-May be due to trauma or diabetes.