I really hate to mention it, but this is such an unsavory reality of pregnancy that something must be said. Well I found out from reading all these preg-books that my belly button will pop out like an outtie before the term is over. Not too long ago I noticed that my navel was in fact beginning to collapse in upon itself. Sadly, it was only the beginning. What the books didn't describe (and what I've had to discover for myself horrified and standing in front of the mirror) was how it appears during the transition period from inny to outtie. You see, the hole fills out from the side, and then does this little puckering-action until it resembles what I imagine (whispering now) an anus would look like (Gasp!). Mark my words! I have never seen an anus firsthand and this is truly and honestly only a conjecture, but I think we all have a vague idea of what they look like, don't we? ... Something like an asterisk might be an accurate description, wouldn't it? And it's not just my bellybutton mind you. Why, I watch TLC's "A Baby Story" almost every single morning, and all these woman have funky asterisk-looking navels on camera as well. You'll see. When you or your mate are about to have a little one, it will wake you up one morning and you will be compelled to ask, "Is that an anus on my/your belly?"

Second only to my navel in the order of business today is the baby. She's doing well as far as I can tell. She's big, TOO big as a matter of personal opinion, perhaps medical as well. Let's see, my aunt measured my waistline a few days ago to compare it with my sister's. It came out to be a good forty inches around, measuring greater than my sister's waistline by five inches. This might sound alright except that her pregnancy started and shall end an entire month earlier than my own. So you see I have surpassed my older sister's growth by one month and five inches. Another reason to be concerned that the baby is too large is that once again my obstetrician has raised the red flag for GDM (gestational diabetes mellitus). This is maybe the third time the possibility has been entertained that I have the condition, and you would think by now they would definitely know if I had it or not. Apparently the hormones produced during pregnancy have a way of rendering the body's insulin ineffective. It's a temporary condition that goes away after term, however one of the the dangerous results of GDM is that the fetus will grow too large in the womb, upping the chances that I will require a C-section delivery.

Even though I know that C-sections are routine (about 1 in four deliveries in the US are done this way) I am terrified of surgery, especially if I have to be awake for it. Just something about the idea of having my skin cut open so that my internal organs are exposed to the air makes me and probably most people wretch and shudder. So I have to try and keep my diet under control. If that doesn't work, then try pills and if that doesn't work either I'll then try insulin shots.

So the upside to pregnancy is supposed to be that you can eat whatever you'd like, right? No, not for me at least. What I lacked previously and missed terribly in the form of alchohol, bud, cigarettes etc. I was making up for quite nicely in the form of chocolate, ice cream, cookies and the like. I figured ice cream had calcium, cookies had chocolate, and chocolate could never be bad. I guess I was wrong. So somehow I gotta figure out how to get through these last 10 weeks eating papery-tasting, fiber impregnated, "healthy" foods. I'm sure to go crazy by the end of the week.

Speaking of weed, has anyone seen the movie "Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle?" I saw it last week with my brother; surprising since the one time I offered him a pot brownie, he looked at me and scoffed, saying that if he was ever going to consume marijuana he would certainly save the occasion to do it with someone cooler than his sister. Brutal! That was the last time I save him a peice. Anyway, for a straight-edge health freak my big brother has a profound appreciation for stoner flicks. HKG2W is an excellent movie replete with strangely familiar moments, guaranteed to give a bellyfull of laughs. And no Carrie, it is NOT a movie about two lion cubs... hahahaha. Oh, and just to show you what a well-rounded individual I am, I went to watch Farhenheit 911 with Carrie and Mat later that night. Everyone says the movie is so biased, but I really don't think it's anymore biased that what we have to hear in the media day after day. And besides, if I wanted to hear the same old crap, I wouldn't have to pay $9.00 at the movie theatre; I could have sat at home and turned on the TV. Michael Moore's challenge to powerful government officials is refreshing because he has absolutely nothing to lose in terms of political power and has the uncanny ability to uncover the tragically human story that underlies this age of terror that we find ourselves living in today.

Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle: ****
Farhenheit 911: ****